But Now I wonder, is this is all a lie! I think God understands that. Read the book of Job, especially the last five or six chapters, when God finally breaks His silence and talks to Job. We serve the same God Job served. You can email me by replying to that email. Lillian it may all be a deception. Try life without praying or any of that stuff. It seems that bad things come whether you pray or believe so just go through life as though you are alone because I think we are. But the Christian is never alone. God has never promised us life without sorrow and pain.
He just promises us grace and strength to live for Him inspite of it. I still believe in creator God because the wonder of His magnificent earth is undeniable. But I no longer believe in a God who loves me. In fact all evidence points out He hates me more than He hates the devil. It is point by point extremely personal ti my specific soul on things I have never even spoken out loud to anybody.
I have nothing and no one and about to lose my home as I just lost my 4th job of the year through no fault of my own; it is always preventable injustice. God is always on my enemies side and never on mine.
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I always lose no matter how earnest and how long I pray. No matter how good I am or how hard I work and obey, or how evil the injustice. I am invisible to any and all kindness or humanity. I believed all my life that if I ever really needed God He would show up for me. He has lied to me all my life. He is not on my side, not ever. He delights in my terror and suffering. I was always taught He cares — He wants to heal our wounds — He is a deliverer.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I feel like the church is nothing more than a lying machine to rope hurting children in to promise them a bunch of empty lies that were never true.
He has fully lied about every other promise written down in the bible. As far as I can tell the whole thing is a scam just to suck up praise and money from stupid people who trusted Him. I might as well worship one of those false Gods. This is the experience of the vast majority of faithful Christians. We are nothing more than chattel to Him. Lives to play with just like that Star Trek episode with the Greek gods.
I can no longer pray or go to church because I am SICK of the grinning liars who think lying to people is glorifying God. It is not. Funny how I thought I had hatred of liars in common with God but no. Thanks for sharing your feelings, Donna. Did you know that Job shared many of your feelings about life? He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you. He sent His Son to die for all humanity. To answer my prayers about my specific needs that would be personal only for me alone. Even thou I believe God is real, I see that my faith in him is hanging by a thread.
God does say to pray without ceasing but what He also should said is — That He will answer if He feel like it. This was to test his faith? What loving father permit someone to harm they child? And I truly believe that God blesses who he want to bless and He lets all the rest suffer. Romans 9: 18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.
Hi Sondra, and thanks for sharing. I view both of these illustrations a little differently than you do, though I understand where you are coming from. But it seems to me that God had so much confidence in Job that he allowed this to happen. As far as Romans 9 goes, note that Paul used Pharaoh as an illustration of what he was speaking of. Even in such a situation God often shows an amazing amount of long-suffering. I believe there is a Christian God, but I know longer believe we are all saved.
I personally do not see a place in heaven for myself and fully do not expect one. I hurt the woman God gave me. I did not have a physical affair but had an emotional one which I have cometo learn is just as bad. I can list the excuses to as why but I in a moment of feeling lonily and depressed I decided to turn to my own desires rather than turn to God.
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See my marriage had no issues prior to this occuring we wrre happy. In fact trying to have another child just a few months before. I did everything God expected of me when my wife found out, I took accountability I dropped to my knees in prayer and I begged for forgiveness. I tried everything in my power to work things out with her with no avail.
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A short 6 months after the issue began I found my self in court the day after my 7th wedding anniversary crying hysterically as a judge ordered me to sign the divorce decree. A few months later another woman came into my life, she know manythings about me most do not. Everything my from issues as a child to even my mistakes in my marriage. She has accepted me for who and I am and what i want to be. And likewise she has shared alot with me as well. While I feel strongly connected to her and that God did put her in my life.
I am unable to overcome the extreme guilt and shame of failing in my marriage. I admit my wife was not perfect and was not willing to admit thise imperfections she put it all on me and while she also had an emotional affair a few years ago herself, i still feel as spiritual leader of the household my duty as seen by God I failed temendously. I truely believe in my heart I do not deserve entry to through the gates.
https://diyfulvital.tk I know people have done far worst than me is the arguement many will present. But I feel it in my heart that I am unsavable. I know people will say thats not what the teachings say that we are all sinfull. But the more and more I have prayed and try to understand this all the more I realize I am not savable. My wife who brought me to god and to the church who has string faith could not even find the stregnth to forgive me. I know people think I am just hurting right now saying this, but it has something I have been praying about and discussing with spirtual leaders for months now and I truely believe this is where I am at and going to remain.
Ryan, my heart goes out to you. You are going through a very hard time in life. The grief in your heart is evidence that God is still calling you to Him. I am a Catholic female and I had a strong belief in God our father but over time I have begun to lose my faith in human nature and in God.
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I do still believe in God but I do not feel him in my heart or in my life. I want to feel better about my life and the way I feel about myself and God.